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A Mom’s LOVENESS!

This Mother’s Soothing Reaction to Her Son’s Fit of Rage Can Teach Us All a Lesson in Parenting.

Mom and blogger Kathleen Fleming recently had an experience that was extremely maddening. Her young son, in a fit of anger, slammed the bathroom door, which led the bathroom’s mirror falling to the ground and shattering all over the floor. The cover photo pictured here which she snapped following the incident speaks volumes about the feeling of panic and despair she must have felt at that moment. This kind of experience that can befall all parents can certainly test our limits of patience, and even temporarily, as difficult as it is to admit, our affection for our child.

But Kathleen later put her thoughts about parenthood in perspective through a beautifully written, poignant, and moving post. It absolutely touched me, and I think all parents out there can benefit from reading this. Please feel free to share her important words, which are already going viral, with all the parents you know out there! They are so very soothing.

Here is Kathleen’s post:

This was my hallway last Wednesday.

glass

Broken. Sharp. Treacherous.

This was my hallway.

It was my son who did this.

Sometimes, often really, things break – irreparably. And it takes your breath away… straight away.

It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons. And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor – a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.

I was quiet. I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath. Put the dog outside so he wouldn’t cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.

I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face. It’s amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these. I realized how scared and disappointed I felt. Did this really just happen? Yes. This was real.

And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom.

His soul hurt. This was not what he expected either. Hello, Anger – I don’t remember inviting you into my house.

Scary.

Terrified.

Ashamed.

Worried.

Scared.

Deep breath, #MamaWarrior. Deep breath. That small, fragile soul needs you right now. He needs your very best. Your biggest compassion. Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance. More deep breaths. Go Mama.

Go. Go now. Go open the front door, tiptoe through the broken glass, hear him hearing you coming, watch the bathroom door crack open, see the face you love most in the world red with worry and wet with tears, his voice is suddenly so small: “Mama, I’ll never do it again, I am SO sorry.” More tears. More weeping. Such uncertainty on his sweet face.

Go Mama. Get him. Go now. Scoop him into your lap. Yup, you’re crying too. Damn this was big. Hold him tight. Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly. See how eager he is to be loved by you. To be reassured by you. See how small he still is. See how fragile that spirit is.

I love you.

You are safe.

I am right here.

The worst part is over now.

I’ve got you.

I’m here.

I love you.

Go Mama. Tell him about Anger. Tell him now. Anger is a really powerful feeling. You have a right to your Anger. Anger burns hot. It can purify. It can also destroy. He nods. He feels it. He’s met Anger now.

There’s a better way to show your big feelings.

We’ll work on it together… tomorrow.

I’m here to help you.

You are safe.

You are never alone in your anger.

You are never alone in your fears.

I’m here. We’re here together.

Now we will clean together.

And we cleaned up the broken pieces. We swept and we vacuumed. It was quiet work. It was careful work. It was thoughtful work.

Sometimes things break. Sometimes we break them. It’s not the breaking that matters, the how or why. What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness. Does it kill us? Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment?

OR

Does it help us remember how to love deepest? Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of “rightness” and “wrongness” into LOVENESS?

Yes. LOVENESS.

Go Mama. Go now. Get that baby of yours. Teach that. Show that. Live that. It’s called LOVENESS. Go. Now.

***********

I can so relate to this…

many times my own son showed such anger…

and we both cried…

and we were both sorry…

and we kept going…

showing the love we had for each other…

YES!…

it hurts…

it swallows you up…

YES..!…

it is something you cannot talk to others about at the time…

YES!…

it is such trial and error…

but, LOVE is the answer…

and when I knew the LORD was in both of us…

We… called upon HIM…

running this horrible anger out of our home…

YES!…

we are at PEACE now…

but, LOVE is the key!

 

My oldest son, Doug… said, “This is the best macaroni/cheeses I’ve eaten!”…

OH YES!…

Don’t you just love it when someone is pleased with your cooking!…

I was trying a new recipe…

Crock-pot Macaroni/ Cheese…

https://rumble.cYouTube chef OnePotChefom/embed/vdvof/

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For this recipe, you will need the following ingredients:

  • 16oz bag of raw macaroni noodles
  • 3 cups of shredded cheddar cheese
  • 8oz cream cheese
  • 2 1/2 cups of milk
  • 12oz of evaporated milk

First, toss the raw macaroni noodles into a slow cooker.

Then, add the shredded cheddar cheese, cream cheese, milk, and evaporated milk.

Give everything a good stir and let it cook for a couple of hours.

That’s all it takes!

The recipe can be altered depending on your preferences. OnePotChef notes that he prefers cheddar cheese, but you can use any cheese you would like.

I would add a little more milk… and let cook slowly… stirring every now and then…

It was delicious!…

**********

A new cookie from Nestle…

and so good

Already to just place on cookie sheet and bake…

Blueberry Lemon…k1909231 k8853991

A Poppy Seed Lemon cookie with Blueberry filling

Might want to try…

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Comes in this sheet of square dough

when break apart you see the luscious filling

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Made two dozen…

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**********

I found these wonderful (made the old fashioned way) noodles at the grocery…

I at least try new things once… to see if I like…

and these are so good!…

Called Essenhaus Extra Wide Noodles

Found they were made across the River in Middlebury, IN…

Amish cooking at it’s best I read…

A restaurant “Dutchman’s Eating House”…

http://www.essenhaus.com/index

serves these and many other homemade foods…

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I boiled chicken with some seasonings and added these…

and I’m hooked…

Hearty and flavorful!…

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Now… this restaurant is on my bucket list to visit…

 

Long week…

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Bobby started a new chemo medicine along with the two he was getting…

The Doctors hope to get him on the onedrop the other two

if it maintains like the others…

The objective…

to have only a two-hour infusion every two weeks and no pump to take home…

As with any cancer drugs… there are side effects…

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the other drugs causes neuropathy… numbness in feet and fingers…

hand / fingers very susceptible to cold… No touching anything very cold… and being in cold winter air is bad…

This new one has it’s “pretty” side too…

Breaking out in rash… k19603048

on chest… neck… face…

only thing to try to help this is just washing with antibiotic soaps and shampoos…5d942ba5-8cec-444c-93a8-daf9c2e1b331_1_ef5378837881511b281880fbaa483ed16185_dialsoapacne_moneyback

A few bad days when this started appearing…

but, today…

as always…

my Bobby is adjusting to situation and said, “If this is as bad as it gets… I think I can handle it!”…

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What strength he shows me after just a little “break-down”…

Just so disheartening…

but, I tell him, “We are in this together… and we will do the best we can!”…

So as of today… although energy level down

He has put up our last two window blinds for the house…

He always amazes me with the energy he pulls up…

Oldest Granddaughter came by for a visit… like rays of sunshine when she enters the house… with her sweet smile…

and of course “Dexter”    is a joy… her “buddy” as she calls him…

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We walked around the block and felt sunshine on our skin…

best medicine for this Grandma… k33036261

Our weekend has been nice…

with a friend of ours coming by to get Bobby… “a man trip” to Home Depot… eating some pizza too…

then my sweet sister shows up with fish, slaw, fries, hush puppies… 14690921_10154563105652836_8489886634317319224_n

A welcome sight!…

Phone calls every day from my special cousin… another friend calls… and then a neighbor comes over to check on Bobby… bringing the Dial soap… and talks until we are both tired…

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These are things that keep people going…

keep people feeling up beat…

keep people believing in their words of encouragement…

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How Blessed we are!  k9292224

 

 

 

  rice-krispies-original-cereal

1928Kellogg’s Rice Krispies® Cereal first appears on store shelves. Everyone loved the noise the cereal made in milk.

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1929 — The words Snap! Crackle! Pop!® first appear in a print ad.

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I had bought 2 boxes of Rice Krispies that had been marked down…

you know by now… I love a bargain!…

of course I like them to eat as a cereal but, my mind went to Rice Krispies Treats…

Easy Recipe…

6- cups Cereal

3- tablespoons Butter

4- cups Miniature Marshmallows

Melt  butter… add marshmallows…

Stir until melted and add cereal… coat evenly…

spread in buttered dish…

Put  butter on hands to help spread mixture in dish…

Let cool and cut into squares…

Eat and enjoy!…

**********

I baked 3 heart-shaped cakes OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA  yesterday for some special Valentine’s…

Small one for my oldest son… OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Middle size one for Carson/Melanie (Grandson/Daughter-in-law)… It was their birthday… OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

and the larger one for Bobby and to have here at the house for any visitors… OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

After having a piece … my two little neighbor boys came by for a treat…

An on-going relationship we have when they come over to their Grandma’s…

so, the rest of the chocolate cake was sent with them…

I don’t know of any treats that can’t be spread around to bring a smile to a face…

Wonder who will get some of the Rice Krispies Treats ???

Valentine BUNCO!

year-2-combo-pack-0202-595x522

I had BUNCO Tuesday night… the game you play with dice…

all family except one that seems like family…

and all women

8 of us all talking at once… Can you picture it!

you need a “girl” time every once in a while…

I like a little theme when I have it…

and Valentine’s Day being next week…

made it fun!…

I have a few decorations anyway…

that just make me happy…

On my front door…

and always a few kitchen towels…

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My windows over my kitchen sink… WINDOW CLINGS…

Easy to brighten an area… and “Cheap!”…

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Back Door…

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Couldn’t resist the Valentine Plates, Cups and Napkins…

and just a few decorations for kitchen table…

BIG red, white and pink M& M’s for munchies…

I decided on a TACO BAR…

Taco Seasoned Meat

Soft Shell Boats

Crunchy Tortilla Chips

Shredded Lettuce

Shredded Cheese

Diced Fresh Tomatoes

Thin Sliced Green Onions

Black Olives(sliced)

Black Beans

Sour Cream

Salsa

Also Mexican Corn crnswssn15_25oz_mffta52541108156u_cwebto complete the meal…

YES!… we do supper!…

Dessert was…

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Cherry Cordial Ice Cream Sundaes

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with…

Hot Fudge Sauce

Valentine Sprinkles

Whipped cream

Cherries to top them off…

All was enjoyed with enough leftovers for my guys…

We buy prizes… 1st=$20, 2nd=$10, 3rd=$8 and two $1… (Floater and Bo0by)…(BUNCO terms)…

It’s a time for some of us (all related) to get together…

Have fun…

and Catch Up on what’s going on in our lives…

I had also made a heart-shaped Chocolate Chip Cookie… but, was not eaten…

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so the next day I took it to the Oncology Staff where Bobby gets his Chemo at VA…

They seemed delighted!… and they are Special!

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Little Women has been one of the most widely read novels

1868 Louisa May Alcott novel

I received the book when I was 9 years old… from my sister-in-law…

a fond memory!…

220px-little_women_poster220px-littlewomen1949movieposter250px-little_women_1978_dvd_cover

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Title page of the first volume of Little Women, 1868…

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Two-volume Roberts Brothers printing, from the early 1870s

I watched the movie version of 1994 on TV today… and made me recall my thoughts as I read this book when young…

I related with the character… JO

a little Tom Boyish… loving to create and write… even a neighbor boy that I liked then…

The love of books began at that time I believe…

Connecting with the characters if they are strong… and whisking me away to other times and places…

The feel of the pages… the smell of old paper and ink of some… the creative artwork on the covers… the words that drift us away

May all children be introduced to reading when they are young…

**********

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Found these great brass wall lamps at “thrift store”…

just what I was looking for …

When I say that…”I’ve been wanting lamps to read by for a long time”…

and my patience has payed off… $10.00 for both with nice shades…

Thanks Bobby for hanging them!

**********

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My favorite treat the past two weeks…

Rainbow Sherbet

I must have a clear glass!…

pour Sparkling Flavored water over…

Pineapple /Orange

Peach/Lemonade

Mango/Lemon…

Pick your favorite citrus flavor!

Lite and refreshing!

**********

 

 

Been a rough week…

Scan on Monday… last week… k41023136

Results were given on Wednesday…

The waiting is sometimes unbearable!…

Doctor came in and said, “Scan looked good!”…

The cancer cells are still there but, like “sleeping!”…

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no activity seen…

and lungs… liver… kidneys… etc. look fine…

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This is when IT blows your mind…

The chemo is keeping cancer “at bay”… my words…

and they will continue to give same medicines but, with an additional one…

MORE side effects… k37365176

We now have neuropathy of hands/feetHurts to touch anything very cold…

Tastes is awful!…

a powdery film in mouth… or NO taste…

I try spicier foods

for flavor… but, this week nothing was working

Nausea… was every day… some throwing up

Today we are feeling a little betterbeen 6 days

My cooking tasted good… at end of day yesterday…

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli and salad with Italian Dressing

but, today was even better…

Breakfast of egg, toast, hash brown (ketchup), and thin sliced fried ham

and chocolate milk/coffee…

I was trying!!!…

all gone… YEAH!!!…

and lunch… I made chicken breasts boiled with onions, celery, seasonings(salt/pepper)…

and then added wide noodles (almost dumpling like)… to broth… green baby lima beans… cranberry sauce and dressing/stuffing…

Ate all but, dressing… (He doesn’t like it)… (ANYTIME!)…

The side effects from the new meds are skin rash and bruisingFUN – It’s NOT!

So… maybe by tomorrow on our 48th Wedding Anniversaryk41147596

February 1 … OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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we will be able to use the gift card from the oldest Granddaughter to Cattleman’s…

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A restaurant she works at while going to college…

We might even try a movie… k8842420

Not any big plans… but, just being together is great!…

There are no jewels… gifts… named for the 48th Wedding Anniversary…

Only a modern gift which mentioned “Optical Gifts”… k38991071

Glasses… telescopes… cameras… k35131010

I have already received a pretty cross necklace of Opals for Birthday and Anniversary

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which I love…

and will wear all of the time

Maybe I will find Bobby some new sunglasses for a vacation we are planning with the kids/friends at end of June…

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That would work!

 

 

 

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