Praying for Sunshine!

I awake startled!…

Hearing my son’s voice…

Not the voice I like…

That troubled voice…

I know he is not here… but, my anxiety level… is in full force… my heart pounding!…

having to get up to collect my thoughts… and know all is well…

He is safe where he is… and I am safe where I am…

Maybe… my mind is telling me…

You made the right decision…

God reminding me of how our world had become… NOT GOOD!…

So… I make my coffee… sit down and regroup… and here I am expressing my most inner thoughts…

I hope all will bear with me for a while…

I have lots of thoughts running through my head…

chest pounding with emotions that only a Mother (or Father)… can relate to concerning their child…

I will be happy again!…

I will wrap my mind around the beauty I always saw in daily living…

I will sustain…

to maybe help others in this kind of trauma…

 

I try to remember the moments of joy I had this past Christmas…

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My wonderful Grandchildren…

Carson-10 years old…

Kennedy- 13

and Taylor will be -21 in a few weeks…

 

Presents for my Grandkids… that they seemed to really like…

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Making Carson’s clock with his old Hot Wheels…

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He was wanting to hang it right then!

 

Baking cookies… enough for many families and friends…

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A husband who has had treatments for cancer all year sitting with us… and doing well…

 

Maybe not a gusto laugh… but, many smiles as I took in the faces of my loved ones…

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My youngest son with his little boy!

 

The gifts I received from caring hearts…

The Christmas cards… with the well wishes for a Happy Holiday from friends/family…

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The joy of having my youngest Granddaughter lay in my lap as I scratched her back and put my fingers through her long blond hair…

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She is taller than me… and an avid Basketball player…

 

The wonderful food prepared by my daughter-in-law as always…

smiling all of the time…

 

Our Funky Christmas socks… worn by all!

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The kind words of family and friends as they felt some of my pain…

The joy of having my troubled son with us… watching him talking and at times struggling … to fit in…

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My Granddaughter’s boyfriend sitting among us… with a smile on his face… as he took in what Family can be like…

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Blessings from my Lord…

surrounding us in the most difficult times…

I’m beginning to feel …

Not perfect…

but, if I let the sunshine through…

I might recover!

 

 

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