We Did Our Best!

I’m trying to get back to some normalcy…

My anxiety level is down some…

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I’m trying to take the medication prescribed by my Doctor…

and it does help…k7884475

Our son who is now living elsewhere…

has come over a number of times…

He couldn’t be more cordial or thoughtful…

I fix lunch… and he goes through some of his things that are here at our house…

He doesn’t want too much of it at his new “home”… because of the different type of people living there…

We will store it until he decides what to do with it…

There is a lot of stuff!…k21378943

He has taken an interest in decorating his area at his new place… but, so much smaller…

He has made many acquaintances… some he calls friends… k7270990and the staff love him…

When on his medications he is terrific!…k0127825

The most thoughtful, caring person you would ever want to meet…

That is what we are seeing now…

I will always have the fear of him going off his meds… and cannot chance that happening…

We all are having to adjust to the living arrangements…

but, I think I see the light shining once again…k2679992

We have never been put down… or chastised by him in our decision!…

He seemed to have been feeling this need for change himself…

I see already a growth that was being stagnated… k9499972by him living with us…

He is having to make his own decisions…

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He is having to talk for himself…

He is having to interact with different people and situations…

He is having to be responsible!…

Whether he will live in this assisted place the rest of his life is to be seen…

I know he needs it now!…

Maybe in the future… down the road… he can have his own place…

but, that will be his decision… not ours…

I worked with kids that were handicapped and had disabilities all of my life…

and so grew to understand the hardships of being this kind of parent myself…

My heart went out to the decisions they had to make about their child… feeling what they felt…

Others…

telling them what is best!…

what is right!…

what is written in the books!…

what others have learned!…

but, it wasn’t “THEIR CHILD”…

It changes everything when you have given birth to that little boy or girl… that everyone seems to know what is best for…

The hurts you feel are real…

the compassion you feel is real…

the awful thoughts that swirl in your head are real…

the love you feel in your breaking heart is real…

I did draw on things I read…

Things I saw…

Things  I researched…

Meetings and groups I attended…

but, when  nighttime came or a new day dawnedk20963753 … it was my husband and myself dealing with this child…

who turned into a teenager…

who turned into a young adult…

and now has turned into a man…

WE were the ones held accountable…

with the good or bad decisions made…

and we did our best!…

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “We Did Our Best!

  1. We all do our best and no-one knows about our lives until they walk in our shoes. My hat goes off to you with how you have managed all these years and hope that things keep improving for you and your son. It seems that this was the moment and you seized it for the good of you all. My love to you all for a better and a Happy New Year.

    • We always said…he could stay with us if on medications…but, it wasn’t happening…
      Police calls after police calls…hospital visits where they let him go…with no treatment…
      “They have RIGHTS”…and I do agree…but, not with record od illness…and a stack of paperwork to back it up…
      Finally had decided he wasn’t coming home again…We had the worst of episodes by far…With lots of info…recording of what he was saying…and descriptives of what we were dealing with…they finally said…”WE SEE WHAT YOU SEE!”…hospitalized…for a week…wanting him to go after that after only being back on meds…for the same amount of time…”How could he be stable???”, I asked??? but, it was going to happen…A “homeless shelter” was all the offered…and I stood my ground…and told them…”DO YOUR JOB!”…You are a social worker!…make it happen!…a decent ;place…for my son who is ill to go to…and finally recommended a place in a small town within 20 minutes of us…and with his cooperation…”Have to have that!”…he was signed in to this “assisted living” place…NOT FANCY!…but, the staff was wonderful…Friendly, caring people… who loved their people…
      so…you ask me…where did I get this referance…GOD!…
      I had asked for a miracle…praying on my knees like the lady in the movie…”War Room”…No less would I take…
      and God led me through this horrible process one person at a time…
      You have to turn this BIG life decision …over to God…and let him work His “Miracles”…and be persistent!…stand up for your child…learn all you can…and don’t let the devil take him…Let God be the answer!

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