Heartache of Change…

I have yet to get back in any kind if semblance to normal…

I think I am… but, when I think all of the time about decisions we have had to make…

when I can’t get myself in any kind of mode to try to help myself lose the weight I have gained these last months…

When I can’t make myself get out of the house… except when I have to…

It makes me wonder…

when will it happen!…

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I confess…

I miss my Doug so much…

YES!… I see him about 3 times a week…

but, it is not the same…

I hear the quietness in the house…

The feel of it…

I miss the sounds of him…

I probably even miss the bad days…

He seems well…

has a tale to tell usually of the other guys where he lives…

but, I also feel and hear the loneliness…

Doug is trying to decide if he wants to try to get an apartment…

Live on his own…

My being says NO!…

although I do understand that he wants “more” for his life…

maybe it will come…

Sometimes our small steps lead us to greater ones…

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and with thinking about the situation… and viewing the pros and cons…

Maybe the right decision will be made…

I explain some of the benefits of living where he is… and the many changes of living on your own…

Warmer weather and a few more months… may help us both…

Why is it that our minds know the right answers… but, our hearts hold the feelings k6003106 … emotions of pain… and heartache of change???

Dear Lord help guide us …

 

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4 thoughts on “Heartache of Change…

  1. It sounds like you are almost in the same position I am, learning to live with a loss. Change isn’t easy. I have done some different things to fill up that quietness. Putting on my favorite music, or listening to comfort music, or christian music. I sometimes have to force myself to do things. Sometimes I nap, or call a positive friend. I will get more into my camera. Find out what really makes you happy and peaceful. Write the list down. Turn to it, when these times arise. Life moves on each day, even when we are still behind in memories. It is difficult, but better days come, but expect bad days to pop up at times. Hugs my friend

  2. Sometimes life overwhelms us with too much change. Eventually we learn a “new normal” — again. It happens over and over. I feel your pain, Marilyn. You are a survivor and God’s grace is sufficient.

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