Gives and Takes Away

My Bobby will be gone for one year in 21 more days.

This past year I have had a very hard time.

My emotions run rapid.

My insides are in turmoil all of the time.

The tears still flow at the thought of him.

The only Peace I find is in nature, reading God’s word, praying,

Staying busy has become my catch phrase.

It is so hard to just take a step at times.

It is so hard to talk at times.

It is so hard to even breathe, which should come naturally.

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I am trying to make me whole again. It will take a long time.

I thought the days I spent caring for my Bobby would be the hardest.

No, the hardest is not having him here with me.

You try to substitute others into that role.

Doesn’t work.

They didn’t love me the way he did!

They don’t know me the way he did.

They didn’t take me just as I was like he did.

They didn’t become entwined so tight that when he died my body was left half gone.

My mind aches with memories.

I turned to God.

I knew HE would be the only real help for my suffering.

I surrounded myself with people of like mind.

People who know that Faith, Hope and completeness only comes through God.

So, God…

we have a journey to go through.

How long?

Only YOU know that!

I will try my best to do what I hear whispered in my ear.

I know you will guide me, if I listen.

A lot depends on me!

I write this to let others know that what you are feeling in these circumstances it’s OK.

We are weak.

And the hurt is real.

But, turning to your Savior is your Peace.

HE will lead you in the right direction that HE already sees.

 

Job 1:18-22

Job had faith in the power of God. Job believed in God’s sovereignty, in the fact that God was in control. Thus, he did not view the death of his children as a natural disaster (though, in a sense, it was), but as an act of God. He said, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.