Tag Archive | bi-polar

Breathing Again!

Bobby just left to take Doug back to where he lives… He doesn ‘t want me to call it “home”… because “here” will always be “home”… home-love-blue-background-rustic-painted-wood-word-spelled-out-metal-letters-heart-symbol-46747096

He kiddingly calls it the “resort”… palms-empty-idyllic-tropical-sand-beach-20104794

He has a great sense of humor…smile-good-clown-stock-photo-human-emotions-joy-31612331

He is alright with our situation…

I really like it… I wouldn’t have said that last December…

It was unbearable at the time to let him go and know I would never have him living here again…

But, the Bi-polar / Schizoaffective Disorder was at it’s worse… since he was diagnosed so many years ago…d-bipolar-disorder-concept-capsule-67662919

I thank God every day for this time now with the son I knew I had… but, had someone elses’ voice coming from his lips… and his actions imitating that of the Devil… devil-emoticon-15453240

I now have the best relationship… and he can breathe and function so well…

The manager of the facility and staff tell me all of the time that he is the nicest… most respectful… most caring person they have ever met…

They love him!…hearts-hand-12726817

I am so glad that others are seeing the guy that was inside all of the time… and he… hearing these words gives him more self-confidence and pride…

What any individual needs!…

We still do our thrift store looking but, not buying so much stuff anymore…

He is much more choosy with his purchases… and I am too…

He lives in a facility that houses young adults… older… retired… mental individuals that are able to do for themselves… and even Veteran’s… faces-crowd-3160791

He talks to all… and so do I… as I pick up and drop off…

Juanita wears bright red lipstick… senior-lady-145595  dyes her hair blond… about 70+ years old… and is the most caring lady I have met…

Always a kind word… a hug… and talking about whatever comes up…

Loves her hair fixed… and always with makeup…

Stephanie is probably 40-50 years old… Dresses neat as a pin… hair done also… and sweet smile and attitude…

Her cute dresses are her trademark… Loves her cigarettes though… redhead-flapper-girl-vector-illustration-image-retro-costume-party-invitation-vintage-postcard-art-deco-poster-mafia-31862838 so outside a lot…

Probably can get bored… so an escape of some kind is needed…

Jo-Jo is a guy that wears his pants up high on his thin body…

Loving hot wheels… which I have known to take him…purple-hot-rod-car-11966382

Just had a birthday and hinted at it about 100 times…

Roger loves coffee and (it has to be instant)… instant-coffee-12481558  due to fixing it for himself all of the time… and likes to do crafty things… like making cigarettes to sell for extra money… with his cigarette rolling machine…

Sally writes poetry and makes birthday cards for all of the residents… old-pen-letter-21221531

One man is deaf… but, can manage to try to talk faster than anyone…

Do I understand all of the time… NO!… but, he smiles at me anyway… and continues on…

There are always tales to tell and I see the relationships being built…

Food is home cooked and appetizing…

Clean!… and homey…

Extras bought all of the time for this big family…

Pizza parties…  emoticon-eating-pizza-27197239… cook outs… hamburger-cheeseburger-cartoon-character-grilling-chef-hat-hamburgers-hotdogs-over-charcoal-grill-outside-summer-39796486 …programs… visitors and speakers…

Games… snacks… movies… and your own area that is just yours…

When Doug leaves after being “home” a day or sometimes two… we leave with a smile… a full heart… knowing the turmoil we felt for so many years has finally come to an end… and we can breathe once and for all…woman-breathing-4412384just-breathe-16442885

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FWF: The Hardest Goodbye

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FWF | The Hardest Goodbye

I’ve had many hard good byes…

The loss of my Mother and Father…

The loss of my Brother and Sister…

Telling Bobby goodbye on his way to Viet Nam…

But, my Hardest Goodbye… is when I have to tell my son goodbye…

After living with us for 44 years…

suffering from Bi-polar and Schizoaffective Disorder…

I never thought my husband and I would live by ourselves…

I knew we would have Doug with us forever or until we grew too old to have him…

No one would want him to live with them…

His mood swings were so severe…

We could only manage to take all that evolves…(episodes) I called them…

We grew to know him better than himself at times…

Finally this past year… with his worst episode yet…

Bobby and I decided he could not come back home…

We love him so much…

and had devoted ourselves to him…

because he was our son!…

My “Miracle” came… that I had asked the Lord for…

A place was found for him to go…

and medications are given twice on a daily basis…

My heart was wrenched from me the day I had to tell him…

but, he seemed to understand and has accepted our decision…

I cried and actually wailed for weeks…

and the tears still come…

I think he is just glad to know he will be taken care of…

when we are gone…

That it is settled….

but, it’s still “The Hardest Good Bye” I say…  every time he has to leave from a visit… or spend the night…

He is still my “little boy”… who needed extra care…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Go to “YOUR” War Room!

A fellow blogger (Sue) had read my post… and wanted some answers concerning her son… who she was dealing with like we had been doing with Doug…

I wrote this…

Maybe it will help someone else!…

With love and caring…

Marilyn Griffin

We always said… he could stay with us if on medications… but, it wasn’t happening…
Police calls after police calls… hospital visits where they let him go… with no treatment…
“They have RIGHTS”… and I do agree… but, not with record of illness… and a stack of paperwork to back it up…
 Finally had decided he wasn’t coming home again… We had the worst of episodes by far… With lots of info… recording of what he was saying… and descriptions of what we were dealing with… they finally said… “WE SEE WHAT YOU SEE!”… hospitalized… for a week… wanting to let him go after being back on meds… for the same amount of time…”How could he be stable???”, I asked???…  but, it was going to happen… A “homeless shelter” was all they offered… and I stood my ground… and told them… “DO YOUR JOB!”… You are a social worker!… make it happen!… a decent place… for my son who is ill to go to… and finally recommended a place in a small town within 20 minutes of us… and with his cooperation…”Have to have that!”… (But, knowing his choice… there or on the street… didn’t hurt!)…he was signed into this “assisted living” place… NOT FANCY!… but, the staff was wonderful… Friendly, caring people… who loved their residents…
 so… you ask me… where did I get this reference… GOD!…
I had asked for a miracle… praying on my knees like the lady in the movie… “War Room”We always said…he could stay with us if on medications…but, it wasn’t happening…
Police calls after police calls…hospital visits where they let him go…with no treatment…
“They have RIGHTS”…and I do agree…but, not with record od illness…and a stack of paperwork to back it up…
Finally had decided he wasn’t coming home again…We had the worst of episodes by far…With lots of info…recording of what he was saying…and descriptives of what we were dealing with…they finally said…”WE SEE WHAT YOU SEE!”…hospitalized…for a week…wanting him to go after that after only being back on meds…for the same amount of time…”How could he be stable???”, I asked??? but, it was going to happen…A “homeless shelter” was all the offered…and I stood my ground…and told them…”DO YOUR JOB!”…You are a social worker!…make it happen!…a decent ;place…for my son who is ill to go to…and finally recommended a place in a small town within 20 minutes of us…and with his cooperation…”Have to have that!”…he was signed in to this “assisted living” place…NOT FANCY!…but, the staff was wonderful…Friendly, caring people… who loved their people…
so…you ask me…where did I get this referance…GOD!…
I had asked for a MIRACLE… praying k22723657  on my knees like the lady in the movie…”War Room” medias 

No less would I take…
and God led me through this horrible process one person at a time…
You have to turn this BIG life decision… over to God… and let him work His “Miracles” k14682411 …and be persistent!… stand up for your child… learn all you can… and don’t let the devil take him… Let God be the answer! …

No less would I take…
and God led me through this horrible process one person at a time…
Let God be the answer!