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Posts tagged ‘Cancer’

New Cancer Meds… Visits and Kind Words …

Long week…

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Bobby started a new chemo medicine along with the two he was getting…

The Doctors hope to get him on the onedrop the other two

if it maintains like the others…

The objective…

to have only a two-hour infusion every two weeks and no pump to take home…

As with any cancer drugs… there are side effects…

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the other drugs causes neuropathy… numbness in feet and fingers…

hand / fingers very susceptible to cold… No touching anything very cold… and being in cold winter air is bad…

This new one has it’s “pretty” side too…

Breaking out in rash… k19603048

on chest… neck… face…

only thing to try to help this is just washing with antibiotic soaps and shampoos…5d942ba5-8cec-444c-93a8-daf9c2e1b331_1_ef5378837881511b281880fbaa483ed16185_dialsoapacne_moneyback

A few bad days when this started appearing…

but, today…

as always…

my Bobby is adjusting to situation and said, “If this is as bad as it gets… I think I can handle it!”…

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What strength he shows me after just a little “break-down”…

Just so disheartening…

but, I tell him, “We are in this together… and we will do the best we can!”…

So as of today… although energy level down

He has put up our last two window blinds for the house…

He always amazes me with the energy he pulls up…

Oldest Granddaughter came by for a visit… like rays of sunshine when she enters the house… with her sweet smile…

and of course “Dexter”    is a joy… her “buddy” as she calls him…

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We walked around the block and felt sunshine on our skin…

best medicine for this Grandma… k33036261

Our weekend has been nice…

with a friend of ours coming by to get Bobby… “a man trip” to Home Depot… eating some pizza too…

then my sweet sister shows up with fish, slaw, fries, hush puppies… 14690921_10154563105652836_8489886634317319224_n

A welcome sight!…

Phone calls every day from my special cousin… another friend calls… and then a neighbor comes over to check on Bobby… bringing the Dial soap… and talks until we are both tired…

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These are things that keep people going…

keep people feeling up beat…

keep people believing in their words of encouragement…

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How Blessed we are!  k9292224

 

 

 

Rough Week * 48th Wedding Anniversary…”OPTICAL” Gifts…

Been a rough week…

Scan on Monday… last week… k41023136

Results were given on Wednesday…

The waiting is sometimes unbearable!…

Doctor came in and said, “Scan looked good!”…

The cancer cells are still there but, like “sleeping!”…

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no activity seen…

and lungs… liver… kidneys… etc. look fine…

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This is when IT blows your mind…

The chemo is keeping cancer “at bay”… my words…

and they will continue to give same medicines but, with an additional one…

MORE side effects… k37365176

We now have neuropathy of hands/feetHurts to touch anything very cold…

Tastes is awful!…

a powdery film in mouth… or NO taste…

I try spicier foods

for flavor… but, this week nothing was working

Nausea… was every day… some throwing up

Today we are feeling a little betterbeen 6 days

My cooking tasted good… at end of day yesterday…

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli and salad with Italian Dressing

but, today was even better…

Breakfast of egg, toast, hash brown (ketchup), and thin sliced fried ham

and chocolate milk/coffee…

I was trying!!!…

all gone… YEAH!!!…

and lunch… I made chicken breasts boiled with onions, celery, seasonings(salt/pepper)…

and then added wide noodles (almost dumpling like)… to broth… green baby lima beans… cranberry sauce and dressing/stuffing…

Ate all but, dressing… (He doesn’t like it)… (ANYTIME!)…

The side effects from the new meds are skin rash and bruisingFUN – It’s NOT!

So… maybe by tomorrow on our 48th Wedding Anniversaryk41147596

February 1 … OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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we will be able to use the gift card from the oldest Granddaughter to Cattleman’s…

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A restaurant she works at while going to college…

We might even try a movie… k8842420

Not any big plans… but, just being together is great!…

There are no jewels… gifts… named for the 48th Wedding Anniversary…

Only a modern gift which mentioned “Optical Gifts”… k38991071

Glasses… telescopes… cameras… k35131010

I have already received a pretty cross necklace of Opals for Birthday and Anniversary

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which I love…

and will wear all of the time

Maybe I will find Bobby some new sunglasses for a vacation we are planning with the kids/friends at end of June…

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That would work!

 

 

 

Still Making Plans!

I have yet to choose a word for the coming year

I have always chosen a word for the year to live by…

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but, I am at a loss…

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Maybe not to be…

or it will materialize later…

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I had left this blog to do some things around the house… and take a few phone calls…

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and in doing so my “WORD” has attached itself…

ENDEAVOR!

to strive to achieve or reach…

 to work with set purpose…

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I like that!…

because that is actually what I have been doing and want to continue…

I feel I am on a mission to get some things accomplished…

with our home…

with my Bobby…

and myself…

and a time to enjoy some things in between…

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For now…

it seems with Bobby still taking chemo… we will live each day as nothing is wrong…

HA!-HA!… I lie! … k21954895

Nothing is the same although we go through the motions…

We are both wanting a scan… k41023136

to maybe reassure us that the Cancer is still “at bay”… as I call it…

Bobby had his eyes done for vision problems…

They sutured his eyes above his eyebrows on corners…

and slit his eyelids to take away excess skin that was making a “shelf” above his eyes…
thus making his vision limited…

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He hated missing a treatment… but, after checking his eyes Tuesday… will get back to his Chemo Treatments…

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I see how we with the Lord’s help

have gotten into the every day habits of life…

We are even making plans for vacation this summer with our little family…

We all want to see the Ocean… and feel the warmth of sunshine

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I can always tell when Bobby is feeling better…

He gets to thinking of projects to do around the house or yard…

We are trying to update what we can around the house…

(I might have to sell… if anything happens to my guy)…

or we…together… may decide on a move

Bobby, Brian (youngest son)  and Grandson ..Carson… hung new blinds yesterday…

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Four more to get on the back of the house… and this job will be completed…

Thank goodness… This project went easily!…

When I see my “Energizer Bunny”… back to his self…energizer-bunny-300x270

Makes me Happy!

 

 

 

Caring Hearts… One Year Gone!

I pray in a year from now… I can see some positive results from this decision…

and then maybe… just maybe… I can live with myself… k13738002

 

https://babyjill7.wordpress.com/2015/12/28/live-with-myself/

 

This was written one year agok20477788  … so this is the update…

Bobby is still here… and doing good… even with the words “terminal cancer”… 

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Taking chemo every other week with a few days on pump

Will be one year in January… and we are grateful and feeling blessed!…

Doug has adjusted to his “new home”… k19685454

Would rather be home here with us… but, gets to come a couple of days a week to spend the night…

We still do our thrift store shopping… antiqu_c

order pizzak22727100 or I cook something he likes…

Changes I have seen…

Taking meds with no problem…

Very helpful to us when he’s visiting…

More caring… k13681420

More thoughtful…

More polite… k23558971

Has made friends…

Talks to all of the residents where he lives…

and they think he’s the greatest…

Compliments from staff and many times…

I hear the words…”I just love Doug!… He’s such a good guy”

Laughs a lot… k14833942

Tells stories of what is happening around him…

Shows compassion to other residents… k7840958

wanting to buy them small gifts they don’t (can’t) get…

He has Doctor Care k8110813 and Therapy regularly…

It still hurts when I drop him off some days…

wishing more for his life

but, inside I know it’s so much better than it was…

There have been family members that have been so good to him…

with cash money  k16981841 … gift cards k8942976and small gifts

every now and then…

and I am so thankful for them!…

He knows who really cares by these gestures…

I realize we cannot take on all who are in these situations…

but, it makes me feel grateful for those who have loved my son that much…

I wish he had more visitors… k14916867

His Dad and I are really it…

I feel sad for him…

He goes with us to visit his brother/sister-in-law/nieces/nephew…

but, I would like people to want to visit him…

That I have no control over…

He gets out and walks around the area where he lives…

to a store or two … k24464548

He has lately started to take some of his things back with him

He didn’t want his items taken… (which I can understand)…

Anywhere there are lots of people in one area you take that risk…

My main liking of our situation is the growth I see in him…

and the peace we have in our lives…

Thank you LORD! angel

 

 

 

 

 

Palliative Care Meeting #2…

Palliative care (pronounced pal-lee-uh-tiv) is specialized medical care for people with serious illness. It focuses on providing relief from the symptoms and stress of a serious illness. The goal is to improve quality of life for both the patient and the family.

Palliative care is provided by a specially trained team of doctors, nurses, social workers and other specialists who work together with a patient’s doctors to provide an extra layer of support. It is appropriate at any age and at any stage in a serious illness and can be provided along with curative treatment.

 

This is what Bobby and I are going through…
We met with a team again today…

discussing our feelings…

our questions (concerns)…

our knowledge of what Bobby is experiencing with the cancer he has…

We discussed DNR… Do Not Resuscitate… k4969800

and some of Hospice Care…

We were told again that his cancer is terminal…k21223976

Not that you have a specific date of “death”…

but, that the cancer will take his life…

No matter how you take in those words…

you cannot actually breathe at that point…

your whole being is shouting from inside NO!…

Don’t say those words!…

We look at each other reaching for each others hand…k13560373

The tears come to my eyes… and roll down my cheeks…

I am grasping the words…

but, so wish I wasn’t!…

They ask us questions… and we relate again to this group of professionals that “we are our own team”…

Have been for 47 years… and will continue to be until our last breath is drawn…

They seem amazed at our truthfulness with each other…

our way of thinking and coping with this news…

We have always discussed everything together… so we wonder why others find it hard to believe of how open we are on the subject of death…

but…

isn’t death a part of life???

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Bobby explains his “ring” (circle) scenario… a beginning that travels around until it meets it’s self again… k7533959 …

a continuum of a life we committed to each other many years ago…

Bobby expresses his Faith… in that he always asks God to forgive him of any transgressions when praying… He wants forgiveness before he asks anything for himself and others…

His desire is to please his Savior…

I express to the Pastor that is the last to see us… that “God” is beside me all  of the time… but, when we speak to Him out loud… in prayer… together…

we feel His Presence and Strength … lasting and protecting us from thoughts and words that hurt us…

We are as ONE!…

The Son, The Father , The Holy Spirit and Us!…

and through this relationship that we have formed

we will sustain…

we will be brave…

we will comfort others as they comfort us…

Our Lord will keep us in His Hand as He does anyone who believes…

Praying before we leave with a servant of the Lord was a good ending of our meeting…

 

 

 

 

 

Heavenly Love

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I have had a question raised to me…

How can I let God be in charge…

Total submission I believe is the answer…

Letting yourself be lead by His words given you in mind, spirit and body…

I have learned to pray pout loud…

Giving Him my total attention for those moments…

Bobby too!…

We focus on our desires… but, also the desires and needs of others…

and then we have to believe He will answer…

and through many people He does!…

We have had cards, gifts, flowers, food, visits, phone calls, talks, invitations, help with daily activities…

Is that not God speaking to us through others???

Is that not His way???

To have such a burden put on us…

blinding us for the moment…

taking all of our strength for the moment…

bringing tears that don’t seem to cease…

hearts so full of pain that it is unbearable…

and then…

Slowly…

He wraps us in His ever-loving arms…

Holds our hand as we make our way back up the hill from that valley of despair…

He gives us a peace that is not relatable…

A strength we never knew we had…

A purpose and focus to make every day accountable in some way…

Giving us words to teach others what having Jesus in your heart can do for you…

YES!,… this is why “I let God take my life and make it whole”…

“Take my life and use it to benefit others”…

“Take our lives to complete His work with us”…

and all I had to do was surrender

and receive such Heavenly Love…

Let God Be In Charge…

Another treatment done…k17394939… a few side effects…

cold to touch…

little nausea…

but, getting up and trying to do what he can…

He looks great…

The Doctor’s insisted on a genetic test…

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to see if there was a gene for cancer…

with brothers and sisters having this disease…

but, it came back negative to their surprise…

The boys are encouraged to get tests earlier and more often… k24014363

Bobby’s sisters came up from Georgia on Friday…

we had a wonderful visit…

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lots of hugging… kissing… and a few tears…

but…

lots of laughter!…k27866421

which is good for anyone!…

Leaving is always a little sad…

and in this case… harder…

Two of his sisters that came have already lost their husbands…

so… knowing how I feel… is known to them…

Our sleep pattern is erratic…k36584351

late…

getting up way too early…

restless….

and you wake to that sick feeling in your stomach…k30983586

Our promise to each other now… is to go back to our positive thinking…k29504020

getting out of the Lord’s way…

and letting HIM handle what we have  no control of…

We pray deeply… and speak to our Lord out loud…k17901457

We talk of everything…

and hold on to each other desperately at times…

I’m trying to get through just the normal tasks at hand…

we walk in circles at times…

We sit and find ourselves just staring into space…

our minds swirling…

I know you NEVER get everything settled as you would like…

our hummanism… gets in the way…

I thank you Father for the touch of your hands on me… lifting me up and whispering thoughts in my ears…

Keep us in your care Dear Lord…

and we will try to abide…

 

 

 

 

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