Tag Archive | Cancer

Energizer Bunny Losing Power…

I have found that even “My Energizer Bunny” Bobby…
is evidently running low on power…
His batteries are weak…
New chemo has brought bouts of violent vomiting…
weakening him so much…
Can’t eat…
Can’t relax…
Can’t sleep…
Mentions pain in stomach…
With chemo being changed…
once a week every 3rd week…
no pump to take home…
one drug that was breaking him out so bad…
effecting his eyes, nose…skin… taken off…
I am seeing the photo developing…
I am trying to let the boys know… what I feel…
They want to dismiss the facts I can tell…
and I would too…
but, I will have to be the strong one I know…
It’s a terrible feeling of standing watching someone you love so much…
suffering…
I pray we can make the Honor Flight this weekend…
a “good closure” to my Bobby’s life…
coming full circle from the time we met over 48 years ago…
I see the Glory of an Almighty God that has held us when we cried…
listened to our prayers… and answered with time to get some things done…
we will continue to move forward …
we never lose Hope…
for each moment shared will help me to have the strength for the next chapter in my life…
and Bobby to leave this Earth to a Heavenly Home that is free from disease and pain…
thank you Jesus…
I have felt your presence daily…
Amen…

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Honor Flight…

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We had to have heating and air conditioning put in last month…
never had been changed … since we moved here in April of 1988…
It was Easter Sunday morning…
Family helped … especially a brother-in-law…
who later passed with a brain tumor…
way too young…
Leaving my sister and six children…
it’s funny how your mind works…
one thought leads to another…
anyway…
when the guys were bringing out the old furnace…
my bird bath that I had just made was broken…
I had to bite my tongue…
I was so upset…
especially since I had searched out the bowl for it and made it myself…
Oh well!…
The air feels so much better…
I imagine the old unit was struggling to work…
Of course it seems to pour sometimes when it rains…
because besides the cost of the heat/cool units…
I have had to have dental work done…
One more trip and a new crown will hopefully keep me going on my chewing …
Dearly hope so…
Chemo still an ongoing ritual…
and Bobby still holding the cancer at bay…
we both are a little more emotional I think…
but, doing OK!…
We made a short trip for Bobby’s Birthday… to French Lick Indiana…
Free room… free buffets…and a little money to play penny slots…
A good time…
Came home with some of the money we had set aside … which is always good!…
My sister went with us…
we travel well… together…
and get along… with sharing a room… and deciding where to eat. etc….
Bobby still going to the Live Strong Program at the YMCA… and I do my swimming exercises…when I can…
A friend across the street… who cuts our grass…
gave us a letter about a program called…
HONOR FLIGHT, INC. …
it is for Veterans with terminal illnesses…
This organization honors American Veterans for their sacrifice and achievements by taking (flying) them to Washington DC to see the memorials at no cost to the Veteran…
They want the Veteran’s guardian (care giver) to fly and be with them to make it a wonderful experience…
SO…
I wrote it up…filled out the paperwork…
and sent it to them…
Today…
we received a call from Honor Flight that Bobby was chosen to go…
all expenses paid… for 3 days…
I pay a nominal amount to go with him…
We will fly from Louisville…
have a buffet dinner at night with speeches from representatives…
staying at a Hilton Hotel in Washington DC…
the next day after breakfast…
we will be taken to all of the Memorials…to view…
and on the 3rd day after lunch… we will arrive back in Louisville…
WE are so excited to get to make this trip …
and so grateful for this showing of gratitude…
and making my Bobby’s last days even better!…
Thank you Lord!

“Applesauce” and “Eye Drops!”

My life seems quite out of control lately…

I get up…

make me a cup of coffee…

read or listen to news…

check outside for weather…

(Found this is as good as weather man sometimes!)…

I drive a little boy to school almost every morning…

His Grandmother takes care of him a lot…

like so many are doing these days…

and has no transportation…

I am home anyway and get up early… so I kinda committed to taking him in the mornings…

I don’t promise afternoon pick-ups…

but, along with another neighbor we manage to get him picked-up…

I gave him applesauce (in the little cups) with a plastic spoon one morning…

since he was a little cranky and had not eaten…

so now…

This is our “thing”…

I take it to him every time now…

I change-up on flavors…

Sometimes Cinnamon and sometimes Strawberry…

One day his Grandpa took him and he rings my door bell at 7:30am for his applesauce…

Have to love it!…

Bobby and I being out-of-town for a few days did not sit too well with his breakfast habit…

We went to Cherokee, NC    and Tennessee to spend a night and visit with my cousin/her husband…

Before I left I made this little one a chart to count down the days til school was out…

I think it helped…

Our few days away actually helped our spirits…

but, it seems we always have an incident…

Bobby had been given drops for his eyes due to Chemo being mixed incorrectly…

making his eyes… nose… and other areas run with a secretion that almost burned his skin…

He had been sitting outside a lot… at my cousins…

when I spotted what I thought to be his eye drops

and told him to let me put them in his eyes…

He went ballistic!…

hollering about burning of his eye….

Thank goodness I only dropped one drop in one eye….

BUT….

that was quite enough!….

It was NOT his eye drops but, drops of an alkaline that he mixes with water and drinks…

A natural healing drink he had been trying…

After washing out eye thoroughly with water and eye rinse from pharmacy…

I felt he needed to go to VA Medical Center in Murfreesboro, TN…  …where we were visiting my cousin…

Only a short ride and “precautionary treatment” seemed the right thing to do…

The staff was excellent!….

Getting his information as quickly as possible…

listening to “story” of what I had done…

showing them the bottle of drops….

Poison Control was called and immediately started numbing eye and then did a PH Test …

Washed it with what looked like a contact connected to a tiny hose… (Fit right over his eye-ball)…

They rinsed with a saline solution…  tested again

seemed to be fine….

Releasing him in the care of “the culprit”… ME… who had done this to his poor eye…. with eye drops again (Antibiotics)…

I want to praise the doctor- nurse- social worker- and office staff…

as to the quick reaction in the care for my husband…

They kidded with me that they were glad I had not used “Super Glue”…

I think I cried a bucket of tears…

I felt so bad…

Today… back to my job of taking my little neighbor fellow to school….

I also picked him up…

He asked, “You didn’t bring any applesauce?”…

I explained, “I only bring that for breakfast”…

“OH”… he says…. disappointment in his voice…

So… when we returned home…

I told him, “Come on over and get an applesauce”…” I have enough for the next few days”…

Being that school is out after Thursday…

He says, “Strawberry please!”…

**********

Today was Chemo Day and results of scan…

We have to leave too early for me to give my little fella a ride to school… but…

left his applesauce/plastic spoon on his Nanna’s front porch…

First thing! …

Scan was good…

NO growth…

NO change…

 

Bobby’s body has kept the cancer at bay (sleeping) for a year …

and so we will continue with same chemo drugs… for now…

and as he says, “I will live as if nothing is wrong with me as best as I can… taking one day at a time… and try to enjoy things we are able to do!”…

Love hearing him with this attitude…

**********

This morning we get up …

I run my little neighbor up to school for the last day…

Summer is officially here…

School is out!…

I feel as though I have gotten summer break too…

although have not minded helping out with this small boy…

I am sure Corvion will be elated today!

NOW…

do I keep “applesauce” in my fridge during summer break or not???

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Cancer Meds… Visits and Kind Words …

Long week…

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Bobby started a new chemo medicine along with the two he was getting…

The Doctors hope to get him on the onedrop the other two

if it maintains like the others…

The objective…

to have only a two-hour infusion every two weeks and no pump to take home…

As with any cancer drugs… there are side effects…

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the other drugs causes neuropathy… numbness in feet and fingers…

hand / fingers very susceptible to cold… No touching anything very cold… and being in cold winter air is bad…

This new one has it’s “pretty” side too…

Breaking out in rash… k19603048

on chest… neck… face…

only thing to try to help this is just washing with antibiotic soaps and shampoos…5d942ba5-8cec-444c-93a8-daf9c2e1b331_1_ef5378837881511b281880fbaa483ed16185_dialsoapacne_moneyback

A few bad days when this started appearing…

but, today…

as always…

my Bobby is adjusting to situation and said, “If this is as bad as it gets… I think I can handle it!”…

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What strength he shows me after just a little “break-down”…

Just so disheartening…

but, I tell him, “We are in this together… and we will do the best we can!”…

So as of today… although energy level down

He has put up our last two window blinds for the house…

He always amazes me with the energy he pulls up…

Oldest Granddaughter came by for a visit… like rays of sunshine when she enters the house… with her sweet smile…

and of course “Dexter”    is a joy… her “buddy” as she calls him…

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We walked around the block and felt sunshine on our skin…

best medicine for this Grandma… k33036261

Our weekend has been nice…

with a friend of ours coming by to get Bobby… “a man trip” to Home Depot… eating some pizza too…

then my sweet sister shows up with fish, slaw, fries, hush puppies… 14690921_10154563105652836_8489886634317319224_n

A welcome sight!…

Phone calls every day from my special cousin… another friend calls… and then a neighbor comes over to check on Bobby… bringing the Dial soap… and talks until we are both tired…

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These are things that keep people going…

keep people feeling up beat…

keep people believing in their words of encouragement…

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How Blessed we are!  k9292224

 

 

 

Rough Week * 48th Wedding Anniversary…”OPTICAL” Gifts…

Been a rough week…

Scan on Monday… last week… k41023136

Results were given on Wednesday…

The waiting is sometimes unbearable!…

Doctor came in and said, “Scan looked good!”…

The cancer cells are still there but, like “sleeping!”…

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no activity seen…

and lungs… liver… kidneys… etc. look fine…

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This is when IT blows your mind…

The chemo is keeping cancer “at bay”… my words…

and they will continue to give same medicines but, with an additional one…

MORE side effects… k37365176

We now have neuropathy of hands/feetHurts to touch anything very cold…

Tastes is awful!…

a powdery film in mouth… or NO taste…

I try spicier foods

for flavor… but, this week nothing was working

Nausea… was every day… some throwing up

Today we are feeling a little betterbeen 6 days

My cooking tasted good… at end of day yesterday…

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli and salad with Italian Dressing

but, today was even better…

Breakfast of egg, toast, hash brown (ketchup), and thin sliced fried ham

and chocolate milk/coffee…

I was trying!!!…

all gone… YEAH!!!…

and lunch… I made chicken breasts boiled with onions, celery, seasonings(salt/pepper)…

and then added wide noodles (almost dumpling like)… to broth… green baby lima beans… cranberry sauce and dressing/stuffing…

Ate all but, dressing… (He doesn’t like it)… (ANYTIME!)…

The side effects from the new meds are skin rash and bruisingFUN – It’s NOT!

So… maybe by tomorrow on our 48th Wedding Anniversaryk41147596

February 1 … OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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we will be able to use the gift card from the oldest Granddaughter to Cattleman’s…

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A restaurant she works at while going to college…

We might even try a movie… k8842420

Not any big plans… but, just being together is great!…

There are no jewels… gifts… named for the 48th Wedding Anniversary…

Only a modern gift which mentioned “Optical Gifts”… k38991071

Glasses… telescopes… cameras… k35131010

I have already received a pretty cross necklace of Opals for Birthday and Anniversary

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which I love…

and will wear all of the time

Maybe I will find Bobby some new sunglasses for a vacation we are planning with the kids/friends at end of June…

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That would work!

 

 

 

Still Making Plans!

I have yet to choose a word for the coming year

I have always chosen a word for the year to live by…

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but, I am at a loss…

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Maybe not to be…

or it will materialize later…

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I had left this blog to do some things around the house… and take a few phone calls…

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and in doing so my “WORD” has attached itself…

ENDEAVOR!

to strive to achieve or reach…

 to work with set purpose…

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I like that!…

because that is actually what I have been doing and want to continue…

I feel I am on a mission to get some things accomplished…

with our home…

with my Bobby…

and myself…

and a time to enjoy some things in between…

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For now…

it seems with Bobby still taking chemo… we will live each day as nothing is wrong…

HA!-HA!… I lie! … k21954895

Nothing is the same although we go through the motions…

We are both wanting a scan… k41023136

to maybe reassure us that the Cancer is still “at bay”… as I call it…

Bobby had his eyes done for vision problems…

They sutured his eyes above his eyebrows on corners…

and slit his eyelids to take away excess skin that was making a “shelf” above his eyes…
thus making his vision limited…

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He hated missing a treatment… but, after checking his eyes Tuesday… will get back to his Chemo Treatments…

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I see how we with the Lord’s help

have gotten into the every day habits of life…

We are even making plans for vacation this summer with our little family…

We all want to see the Ocean… and feel the warmth of sunshine

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I can always tell when Bobby is feeling better…

He gets to thinking of projects to do around the house or yard…

We are trying to update what we can around the house…

(I might have to sell… if anything happens to my guy)…

or we…together… may decide on a move

Bobby, Brian (youngest son)  and Grandson ..Carson… hung new blinds yesterday…

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Four more to get on the back of the house… and this job will be completed…

Thank goodness… This project went easily!…

When I see my “Energizer Bunny”… back to his self…energizer-bunny-300x270

Makes me Happy!

 

 

 

Caring Hearts… One Year Gone!

I pray in a year from now… I can see some positive results from this decision…

and then maybe… just maybe… I can live with myself… k13738002

 

https://babyjill7.wordpress.com/2015/12/28/live-with-myself/

 

This was written one year agok20477788  … so this is the update…

Bobby is still here… and doing good… even with the words “terminal cancer”… 

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Taking chemo every other week with a few days on pump

Will be one year in January… and we are grateful and feeling blessed!…

Doug has adjusted to his “new home”… k19685454

Would rather be home here with us… but, gets to come a couple of days a week to spend the night…

We still do our thrift store shopping… antiqu_c

order pizzak22727100 or I cook something he likes…

Changes I have seen…

Taking meds with no problem…

Very helpful to us when he’s visiting…

More caring… k13681420

More thoughtful…

More polite… k23558971

Has made friends…

Talks to all of the residents where he lives…

and they think he’s the greatest…

Compliments from staff and many times…

I hear the words…”I just love Doug!… He’s such a good guy”

Laughs a lot… k14833942

Tells stories of what is happening around him…

Shows compassion to other residents… k7840958

wanting to buy them small gifts they don’t (can’t) get…

He has Doctor Care k8110813 and Therapy regularly…

It still hurts when I drop him off some days…

wishing more for his life

but, inside I know it’s so much better than it was…

There have been family members that have been so good to him…

with cash money  k16981841 … gift cards k8942976and small gifts

every now and then…

and I am so thankful for them!…

He knows who really cares by these gestures…

I realize we cannot take on all who are in these situations…

but, it makes me feel grateful for those who have loved my son that much…

I wish he had more visitors… k14916867

His Dad and I are really it…

I feel sad for him…

He goes with us to visit his brother/sister-in-law/nieces/nephew…

but, I would like people to want to visit him…

That I have no control over…

He gets out and walks around the area where he lives…

to a store or two … k24464548

He has lately started to take some of his things back with him

He didn’t want his items taken… (which I can understand)…

Anywhere there are lots of people in one area you take that risk…

My main liking of our situation is the growth I see in him…

and the peace we have in our lives…

Thank you LORD! angel