Tag Archive | God

Finding Peace in My Back-Yard…

As the days become warmer… almost hot the last two…

I walk my yard looking for small signs of summer

Spring is doing it’s “thing”…  

Sprouts begin to show…

Buds begin to grow…

and it makes you feel…

“All is right with the world!”…

That our God is keeping His World in order…

When we went to church with friends yesterday…

a saying struck me…

God was…

God is…

God will be…

and it gave me Peace…

My sister brought me a Palm from her church…

and I added it to my Door Decoration…

a finishing addition!…

As I walked I found these delicate eggs from a bird on the ground… I thought Robin…

but, maybe not dark enough… although a pretty pale blue…

Maybe fell when the wind blew hard

or maybe a thief stole them

like a Jay…

I hear they do this…

but, …

they were cracked open and empty…

Jill was taking in the sunshine coming through the back door…

sound asleep… and as I petted her she was so warm…

 

probably feeling good to her body like us… as she is ageing… going on 17 years…

 

Pale and bright purple flowers and a lot of yellow…

 

 

 

Wildflowers I pick since my planted flowers are just greening now…

making a sweet bouquet that only lasts about 2 days…

but, then I can pick fresh ones while I wander…

 

The red birdhouse hasn’t shown signs of life…

 

Only squirrels running around it as they chase each other in their games of hide and go seek…

We planted two new shrubs that are greening nicely…

a Dwarf Apricot Tree that my son ordered…

and onion sets from a neighbor…

Although I have Columbine growing in one of my BIG pots…

the other was empty and seemed to be a great spot for the onions…

Container gardening will be all I do…

As I straightened up the house…

a never-ending keeping of a home…

I light candles when finished…

I love the faint smell of vanilla or other scents as I enjoy my home…

A place where I find Peace also!

 

 

 

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Heavenly Love

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I have had a question raised to me…

How can I let God be in charge…

Total submission I believe is the answer…

Letting yourself be lead by His words given you in mind, spirit and body…

I have learned to pray pout loud…

Giving Him my total attention for those moments…

Bobby too!…

We focus on our desires… but, also the desires and needs of others…

and then we have to believe He will answer…

and through many people He does!…

We have had cards, gifts, flowers, food, visits, phone calls, talks, invitations, help with daily activities…

Is that not God speaking to us through others???

Is that not His way???

To have such a burden put on us…

blinding us for the moment…

taking all of our strength for the moment…

bringing tears that don’t seem to cease…

hearts so full of pain that it is unbearable…

and then…

Slowly…

He wraps us in His ever-loving arms…

Holds our hand as we make our way back up the hill from that valley of despair…

He gives us a peace that is not relatable…

A strength we never knew we had…

A purpose and focus to make every day accountable in some way…

Giving us words to teach others what having Jesus in your heart can do for you…

YES!,… this is why “I let God take my life and make it whole”…

“Take my life and use it to benefit others”…

“Take our lives to complete His work with us”…

and all I had to do was surrender

and receive such Heavenly Love…

Let God Be In Charge…

Another treatment done…k17394939… a few side effects…

cold to touch…

little nausea…

but, getting up and trying to do what he can…

He looks great…

The Doctor’s insisted on a genetic test…

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to see if there was a gene for cancer…

with brothers and sisters having this disease…

but, it came back negative to their surprise…

The boys are encouraged to get tests earlier and more often… k24014363

Bobby’s sisters came up from Georgia on Friday…

we had a wonderful visit…

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lots of hugging… kissing… and a few tears…

but…

lots of laughter!…k27866421

which is good for anyone!…

Leaving is always a little sad…

and in this case… harder…

Two of his sisters that came have already lost their husbands…

so… knowing how I feel… is known to them…

Our sleep pattern is erratic…k36584351

late…

getting up way too early…

restless….

and you wake to that sick feeling in your stomach…k30983586

Our promise to each other now… is to go back to our positive thinking…k29504020

getting out of the Lord’s way…

and letting HIM handle what we have  no control of…

We pray deeply… and speak to our Lord out loud…k17901457

We talk of everything…

and hold on to each other desperately at times…

I’m trying to get through just the normal tasks at hand…

we walk in circles at times…

We sit and find ourselves just staring into space…

our minds swirling…

I know you NEVER get everything settled as you would like…

our hummanism… gets in the way…

I thank you Father for the touch of your hands on me… lifting me up and whispering thoughts in my ears…

Keep us in your care Dear Lord…

and we will try to abide…

 

 

 

 

Heartfelt News!

This is not a Happy Post…

I come writing with such a heavy heart…

actually… a hurt that is not quenched with kind words, hugs, caring thoughts, visits, phone calls…

I love everyone who does all of these things and without I wouldn’t be able to pull it together …

I wouldn’t be able to put one foot in front of the other…

But, when I sit quietly… contemplating the words I have heard concerning my Bobby’s prognosis…

I shutter…

my stomach ties in knots… my heart breaks… the tears flow…

We had a scan done the 13th…

just a check up… a follow-up…

from taking Chemo for a year…

something was not right… and it had only been three months from last “good” scan…

After more blood work… and this scan…

Cancer has returned in another area…

and it is growing fast!…

and they sit and tell us as best they can…

that there is no cure…

treatments might give a little time... but, the stronger meds have really bad side effects…

Questions are running through our heads…

Decisions have to be made…

and we are entering into an actual losing battle…

Quality of life raises it’s head first in our thoughts… but, the will to live as long as we can… enters too…

Together… we always decide things together…

we opt for some treatments until not helping…

Port was replaced yesterday… for the drugs to be applied…

Long 5 hour days ahead… but, just once every other week… a bag taken home for two nights… and then removed… for a week…

same routine as we had just gone though…

but, this time our hearts are hurting with the knowledge of the inevitable…

My Bobby will pass…

My mind screams NO!…

We have hugged, kissed, held each other…cried….but, most importantly prayed…

Our goal to pray together each day…

and feel God’s love holding us and giving us some peace…

We have to talk…

we have things that need to be done…

Issues to be settled…

and as I have said… all decisions are ours to make together… as we have always done…

Oh…

the racing thoughts …

preparation…

finances…

selling the house???

how to spend our days…

Grandchildren to tell…

Knowing the last things that we will do together

We know we are not immune to heartache, loss, pain…

all suffer these things in life…

and knowing we have the Lord on our side… through this horrific part of life… is a Blessing in itself…

My Bobby is so sad… so heart-sick…

His thoughts are mainly about me…

and his sonsGrandkidssisters that love him and will be visiting soon from Georgia…

Friends/Family…

He sits in his swing outside… his favorite spot to hash out things that he has in his mind…

I am glad he has it…

I sit and write…

My release…

The kids hover…with not wanting to hear this…

offering to help and be by our side through it all…

We are Blessed!k13219157

 

#FWF – Focus On The Good

#FWF – Focus On The Good

https://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/

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I have found that no matter what you encounter …

that if  “You do focus on the Good”…

You will be able to handle most any situation…

Goodness to me is my Lord…

HE is who I focus on when I am in need…

HE is who I focus on when my spirits are low…

HE is who I focus on when a friend needs prayer…

HE is who I focus on when problems enter my life that I am unable to handle…

HE is who I focus on when I am feeling so blessed…

with the abundance of life’s glories…

HE is my “GOOD”!…

“Answered Prayer”

It has been 6  months since we first heard those words of…

“He has colon cancer”!… k24472835

I was in a daze for a while…

The questions and receiving of information sometimes a blur…

I started asking for prayer immediately and we chose the word…”POSITIVE”… as our way of getting through…

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At least 100 people made this commitment…

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Coming back to remind myself several times… when my weakness bent me…

Tumor removed… hospital days… k27462453 driving back and forth to Veteran’s Hospital…

Doctor talks… family talks… telephone calls…

My mind was racing faster at times than I could keep up…

My Bobby was a trooper through the whole ordeal and still is…

Finding three spots in lymph nodes… was not good!

Port put in to access easily for blood work… antibiotics… iron… blood… and then chemo…

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He is still poked with that curved needle as he goes every other week for treatment…

Taking his blood to check how things are going…

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We heard blood work was good… each time…

added 4 units of iron over a few weeks…

Chemo meds mixed for him specifically…

He would be doing this for 6 months…

I counted 12 treatments because they are every other week…

We were told at the half way mark of treatments…

(3 months or 6 treatments) … however you count it…

he would have a scan…

We reached our 7th treatment…

Wasn’t that half way???…

Appointment for scan came…

A week ago Monday he went in for it…

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then waiting until Wednesday when he went in for treatment to talk to Doctor…

and get results…

I think I cried buckets in these days… k19395833

The unknowing of what you are going to hear is terrible…

The Doctor came in and asked, “Well, buddy… how are you feeling?”…

Bobby answers, “Never better actually!…

and people are in awe … I have heard so much negative talk about these treatments…

and I have felt so good… so much stronger… so more able to do all I want…

Not tired like I was… more energy… not sick…”…

And then she answers him, “You were scanned over your whole torso… checked all organs… lungs, liver, kidneys, lymph nodes, etc…

and we find NO CANCER!… Nothing!…”

I know I gasped… taking in this information… as the Doctor sits quietly beside Bobby on the bed… relating this …

She was smiling so big… and said, “I love bringing this kind of news!”…

and looking at me… says, “Tears of joy, I know!”… as I nodded yes!…

“Would like you to continue the last 4 treatments… you will be finished at the end of November”, she continues talking…

“Can you handle that?”…

“I’m sure we can!”, we both say at the same time…

CANCER FREE!…

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as I looked up to heaven to thank God for answered prayer…

 

 

 

 

 

#FWF Free Write Friday: Ponder this…

Here is your FWF prompt:fwf kellie elmore badge

I didn’t understand it then, but I understand it now…

Sometimes we are so confused k3947516as to what is happening in our lives…

I was introduced to people with mental challenges k16192727when I was a young Mom… Only to find out later that my son suffers with Bi-polar Disorder k14932235

I was given a job at the Public School that I volunteered at… working with Learning Disability Students… The Principal saw something in me it seems to offer me this job!… feeling I could do it… At that time… he had more faith  in me than I myself!

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I was then transferred to another school with Special Needs Students… and stayed there… for 30 years… Always dealing with my son’s illness at this time…

My working with Mentally Challenged  k12506123 people was not what I wanted to do with my life…

I wanted to do art of some kind… k8413105

Well, I have!…

I look back and see how my art helped me in teaching and helping the many students I touched…

My art has helped my son become an avid collector and see things in such a different state of mind than in those early years… and has given him a purpose…

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We are “good friends”          LVI0005

and “shoppers of the unusual”…Antiqu_C

Now… in my later years… after retiring from my school job… I find myself using and helping the elderly with the skills I have learned and techniques I have mastered…

I feel I was molded into the person God wanted me to be… k3524555

I must have been willing… and pliable… like a piece of softened clay…

Because I feel good about the way I have turned out…

Yes, sometimes looking backI see the path being laid out saf0033 … but, unable to see it at the time!

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