Tag Archive | schizoaffective disorder

FWF: The Hardest Goodbye

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FWF | The Hardest Goodbye

I’ve had many hard good byes…

The loss of my Mother and Father…

The loss of my Brother and Sister…

Telling Bobby goodbye on his way to Viet Nam…

But, my Hardest Goodbye… is when I have to tell my son goodbye…

After living with us for 44 years…

suffering from Bi-polar and Schizoaffective Disorder…

I never thought my husband and I would live by ourselves…

I knew we would have Doug with us forever or until we grew too old to have him…

No one would want him to live with them…

His mood swings were so severe…

We could only manage to take all that evolves…(episodes) I called them…

We grew to know him better than himself at times…

Finally this past year… with his worst episode yet…

Bobby and I decided he could not come back home…

We love him so much…

and had devoted ourselves to him…

because he was our son!…

My “Miracle” came… that I had asked the Lord for…

A place was found for him to go…

and medications are given twice on a daily basis…

My heart was wrenched from me the day I had to tell him…

but, he seemed to understand and has accepted our decision…

I cried and actually wailed for weeks…

and the tears still come…

I think he is just glad to know he will be taken care of…

when we are gone…

That it is settled….

but, it’s still “The Hardest Good Bye” I say… ¬†every time he has to leave from a visit… or spend the night…

He is still my “little boy”… who needed extra care…